


An American Werewolf (on the West Coast)

by Utopiste



Series: 30 days writing challenge [3]
Category: Marvel 616, West Coast Avengers
Genre: Liberal Use of Werewolves, M/M, Morons in love, Post-West Coast Avengers, That’s Not How Ultrasounds Work But OK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 12:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20527964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utopiste/pseuds/Utopiste
Summary: “Alright so basically,” Noh-Varr says, his face scrunched up in his efforts to think of something, anything, that could get them out of here, and even then Johnny can’t help but be annoyed at how unfairly handsome he is, “we’re fucked.”Johnny clenches his jaw, trying very hard not to snap.





	An American Werewolf (on the West Coast)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day three of CommodoreCliche's writing challenge: "your character has to fight something - the item closest to you is now your character’s only weapon.  
"
> 
> along with a rarepair so rare in a fandom so little populated the only audience this caters to is me... and i'm chill with that. also they're like. DUMB dumb

“Alright so basically,” Noh-Varr says, his face scrunched up in his efforts to think of something, anything, that could get them out of here, and even then Johnny can’t help but be annoyed at how unfairly handsome he looks, “we’re fucked.”

Johnny clenches his jaw, trying very hard not to snap. “Dude, it took you twenty minutes to realize this? Because I knew that in the first five seconds we got locked down here, and  _ I’m _ the superhero newbie.”

Like most criticism, it washes over Noh Varr like water over duck feathers, and he continues to inspect the room they’re locked in, in all of its barren glory, considering it was only filled with, in that order: a couch they found on the street three days ago and climbed up the stairs with because America refused to help; a television; a window covered in wooden slats to keep the danger out. Noh-Varr takes it all in with interest, pale eyes shining in the obscurity, humming a tune Johnny recognizes but doesn’t quite remember. It is not enough to hide in any way the howls of the werewolves thumping over the locked, wooden door.

_ (Werewolves. Freaking werewolves.) _

Johnny didn’t know signing up for the superhero life meant he would never have a moment of peace and tranquility ever again, or maybe he did and just ignored it out of good intentions and infatuation with Kate, like a moron, but even then, a werewolf infection right in the middle of his Mario Kart tournament with Noh-Varr really took the cake. Kate is going to be so pissed about it once they both find a way to turn their teammates back into non-furry, non-flesh-eating (well, mostly, he doesn’t know so much about Gwen and Jeff the land shark) sort-of-functional human beings. But for now, all they have are their powers, Johnny’s iPhone with its screen entirely cracked, and Noh-Varr’s whatever it is he does.

“You know,” Noh-Varr says conversationally even as a threatening cackle rises behind them – of course Gwenpool would turn into a werehyena – “this reminds me a lot of the last time we got stuck so close together.”

Johnny feels himself blush, and silently thanks God that Noh-Varr can’t see it. “Don’t say it like that! We were at the bottom of a hole in the ground with no weapons to be turned into vampire snacks!”

_ (Vampires.) _

“It wasn't that bad,” Noh-Varr adds, uncaring for his dissent, and whips around to grin at him, his smile gleaming like sunshine over the sea even in the dark.

“Man, there are werewolves trying to eat us,  _ right now,”  _ Johnny says. “Do you really think now is a good time?”

Noh-Varr’s smile just widens as he says, “As you’ll learn, Johnny, there’s no best time to flirt than when you’re scared shitless you’re going to die,” and then, before Johnny has the time to process how and why his name in Noh-Varr’s mouth makes something in him tighten fast like a rubber band, the moron breaks into a run, grabs Johnnny's iPhone, dives through the window, right into the wooden slats, shatters them into pieces. Johnny barely has time to sigh before Noh-Varr shouts something incomprehensible and hot in an alien tongue and blasts some incredibly loud song on Johnny’s phone.

Which is really annoying, because the thing is, if Noh-Varr dives into danger, it means, most of the time, that Johnny has to  _ follow _ him, which he does not want to do at all, but well; his teammate will need cover, and anyway, he has to get back his phone at some point.

As it turns out, the song blaring out of his phone had ultrasounds in it, which dogs - even big, humanoid dogs with hulking muscles and shining teeth - are not fond of in any way. So maybe Noh-Varr did have a plan after all, but damn Johnny if he is going to admit it to anyone.

And if he winds up French kissing Noh-Varr while the evil lair slash underground lab slash mother’s basement of their villain of the week explodes in the background, well, he’s only learning his lessons about flirting in the face of imminent danger. That’s what he’s a trainee for, after all. 

“You’re a fast learner, Johnny Watts,” Noh-Varr says, smirking whenever their lips are apart, and Johnny is over pretending his alien cockiness is annoying more than it is charming. 

“Oh, shut up,” Johnny says, and before Noh-Varr can talk back in any way, he makes him. 

**Author's Note:**

> donate a braincell spare a kudo


End file.
